How Not To Write A Cover Letter

So if you’re like me you find writing cover letters difficult… Now you can see just how much I find it difficult.

When presented with things I have difficulty doing I have do them seriously half not so I make progress and THEN go back and undo all the stupid things I wrote… just this time I didn’t.

The job hunt is competitive enough but to help you get a leg up we suggest this free audiobook download on how to get the right job faster. You can thank me later.

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so if you like me you’ve probably tried getting a job like 500 times and failed repeatedly well part of the job hunting process involves running a snazzy cover letter and I’ve been a few cover letters in my time let’s learn how not write a cover letter here’s one that I actually wrote legitimately this is what I wrote once dear whatever I would like to apply for a position in your store as a retail assistant all the like I believe I am qualified for this position for many reasons I am currently studying film at Murdoch University and thus capable of giving informed help to customers all this must have been for a video store or something cuz video source who goes out and rents DVDs his days woman’s Netflix exists I’m sure you will find me enthusiastic in something addition to your team I am definitely a something addition my optimist and soul has yet to be crushed by the harsh reality of the world and I hope to lose my cynicism virginity here in all places filmmaking requires a level of professionalism teamwork and organization skills and I believe that these are transferable into a workplace such as the one in your saw fear grips me as I think of the lives that we were lost if I continue to be unable to pay off my debts I want to work at your store because my passion for film attaches a resume it might just be mine I hope you consider my application thank you for your time yours sincerely David Cox my advice is to not not do that don’t write that a not until I’m sure if I actually handed this one out did actually hand out one once it says dear store manager / supreme overlord fun fact I’ve never gotten a job via resume no one gives you a job ever probably because it’s written in Times New Roman that is wrong with me that’s terrible anyway I hope you’ve learned something well actually I hope you haven’t learnt anything actually I really hope you did not need to learn anything that was already in here and good luck job hunting goodbye you know what knowing me I actually probably did hand that out to someone..

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  • I have long, long lost my “cynicism” virginity. I hope you enjoy it while it lasts, because it will never come back again:(

  • Your hair is so spoofy now! and this is a beautiful letter I don’t even understand how you were not hired by ALL THE PEOPLE